Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version
by MM-UP
Summary: This will be a collection of oneshots similar to the original Random Rizzles Phonecalls, but everything that goes in here will be rated M. IN PROGRESS, will be updated whenever I feel like writing some Rizzles smut :)
1. The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea

Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version

**A/N:** Hello there. This fic will be a collection of oneshots, similar to the original Random Rizzles Phonecalls, but everything that goes in**  
><strong>here will be rated M. I'll keep adding to it whenever I feel like practicing my smut-writing skills, and I hope you'll enjoy it :)

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><p><span><strong>The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea<strong>  
><span>

**Rating: **M (see above)

**Disclaimer: **No copyright infringement intended, make no money, et cetera, et cetera.

**Summary: **This one is set after 5x11, "If You Can't Stand The Heat". Jane can't sleep after drinking from her mother's sweat tea and starts texting her LLBFF.

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><p>J: Hey<br>U awake?  
>Nvr mind, c u 2moro<p>

M: No, I'm awake. What's wrong?

J: I made a mistake

M: What kind of mistake?

J: Took a sip from Ma's tea

M: How is that a mistake? I drank some of it too, and I'm feeling a lot cooler already.

J: Well I'm not :(  
>I'm feeling all hot &amp; bothered &amp; can't sleep because of it<p>

M: Well, you knew about the aphrodisiac substances in that tea before drinking it. Goodnight :)

J: No! Don't go!

M: I don't think you'll be able to keep texting me while masturbating.

J: Why would I do that? *eww face*

M: You said you're feeling 'hot & bothered', you've ended things with Casey and from what I know, there's no one else you could call in the middle of the night. So there's a high chance you're going to take matters into your own hands (pun intended ;).

J: Ha ha. I'm not gonna take anything into my own hands 2nite  
>And I don't care masturbation is a perfectly healthy &amp; natural thing 2 do blah blah. Not gonna do it, period.<p>

M: Why not, do your hands hurt?

J: Nah, it's not that.

...

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><p>J: Ugh, fine. It's *that* time of the month &amp; I'm feeling all weird &amp; icky :(<p>

M: Do you have a tampon inserted?

J: Sure, why?

M: Then everything on the outside should feel nice and clean, not icky at all.  
>But if you want to take a shower and change your tampon, go ahead. I'll wait.<p>

J: ARRRGH!

M: Jane, are you alright?

J: Just screamed into my pillow in frustration

M: LOL :)

J: Really Maur? U know LOL & use it against me?

M: Sorry.

J: U should be

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><p>...<p>

M: Jane? Are you still awake?

J: Yeah. *curses Ma's tea*

M: I have an idea. Think back to how you discovered that touching yourself feels good.

J: Uhm...

M: Yes?

J: Dunno if this counts, since I didn't really touch myself, but when I was a kid (b4 I even knew about sex & stuff), I used 2 hump my pillow or climb trees & sit with my legs on either side of a thick branch. Felt really nice :)

M: Exactly.

J: ...?

M: You're in bed. There's a pillow right beneath your head. Use it.

J: No  
>I feel silly<br>I'm so tired, but I can't sleep

M: Call me.

J: What?

M: I was going to tell you about the benefits of phone sex, but then I thought I'd rather give you the real experience.

J: Maur, we're best friends. Best friends don't have sex, on the phone or otherwise

M: I just want to help you out so that you can get some sleep. Now call me or I'll call you.

J: Fine, Miss Bossy :p

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><p>"Well, hello there Jane." Maura's voice sounded awfully cheerful, considering it was about two in the morning, and Jane couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Maura, promise me we won't talk about this ever again. Well, I probably won't remember it anyway 'cause I've had a few beers too many, but just in case I do remember anything..."<p>

"I know. I'm simply helping you out so that you can get some sleep, and then we'll go back to being best friends."

"Damn straight. So, what are you wearin'?"

"I thought **I **was going to help **you **out, not the other way round."

"Please?"

"Fine, I'm wearing one of my silk pajama sets. It's lavender in color, and the top is held closed by five buttons."

"You mean purple."

"No, lavender. What are **you **wearing?"

"Some panties and a tank top."

"Mmmh... Have I ever told you how much I like you in a tank top?"

"You do?"

"Oh yes. The way it hugs your body and shows off a bit of cleavage, just enough to make me want to see more..."

"So you like my boobs? I gotta say I like yours better, but to each her own, I guess." Jane paused for a moment. "Know what other part of your body I like almost as much as your boobs? Your ass. Yoga and wearin' heels all the time really does it for you, Maur."

"Why, thanks Detective. Your gluteus isn't bad either..."

"_Not bad? _Really?"

Ignoring the interruption, Maura went on: "I'd love to squeeze it in my hands while you're on top of me, riding my thigh, your wetness coating my skin. However before you got too far along in your quest for release, I'd flip you over onto your back, making you squeal in surprise. That squeal would soon turn into a moan, though, because I'd grab your hands and place them on my breasts."

There was a bit of rustling on Jane's side, followed by a soft groaning sound. "Oh God, yes. I've always wondered if your tits felt as amazing as they look."

"Well, they're soft, but firm, and my nipples get really hard when I'm aroused. Would you like to suck them?"

"Hell yeah..." Quickly shimmying out of her tank top, Jane tossed it away before retrieving her phone and readjusting her postion on the pillow. "Hey Maur, you can look a my tits now, I just took off my tank."

"Mmmmmh... Can you come just by touching your breasts? According to a study I once read, some women can do that, but I've never met one who could."

"I- I don't know..." Jane's normally deep voice was reaching new levels of deep and smoky, a fact that Maura enjoyed immensely. "Keep talking", she requested, one hand staying on her chest while the other made its way down across her belly.

"Fuuuckck... Maur, I'm so horny right now, I'll probably cum the moment I start movin' against my pillow. Even just sittin' on it is almost too much right now..."

"Do it."

"What?"

"Imagine it's me laying underneath you and you making yourself climax against my thigh. And don't try to keep quiet, I want to hear you."

Jane Rizzoli normally didn't do well with orders, but right now complaining was the last thing on her mind. "Yessss, feels so good... You touchin' yourself?"

"Mmmh, yesss. I'm so wet..."

"Damn, I wish I was there with you... Can you put a finger inside?"

"It feels like I could easily fit three fingers right now..." Pulling her hand free, Maura grabbed one of her many pillows and hurried to shove it between her legs. "... But that's not what I want. I want to climax the way you will, grinding against a pillow that I pretend is your leg... God Jane, I'd love to feel those gorgeous legs of yours wrap around my waist as we make love..."

"Oh Goood..."

"We could engage in - ahhh - tribadism, I've always wanted to try that..."

"Tribal... what?", Jane got out in between moans and groans.

"Triba**d**ism, with a D. It's when two females rub their sexes together to achieve climax."

"Oh, you mean scissoring. Yeah, that'd be hot... I can feel it right now, our wet pussies slidin' against each other, my clit findin' yours... Fuck Maura, I'm so close..."

"Me too Jane... ooohhhh..."

"Maura..." Jane's entire body froze on top of her pillow as her inner muscles clenched and released around empty air, the contractions so powerful it almost hurt. "Maur...", she choked out, trying to take her best friend over the edge with her. It worked; seconds later, Maura too found release, slowly grinding against her pillow to make the most of the experience before collapsing onto her stomach, spent.

"Jane?", she breathed after a moment, her throat dry from all the noises she'd been making.

"Yeah?", came the equally husky, breathless reply.

_I love you. _No. _That was fun, let's do it again sometime. _Double no. "Would you like to come over for breakfast tomorrow?"

_God, this is awkward. _"Uh, sure."

"Great. Sweet dreams, Jane."

"Yeah, you too." Ending the call, Jane rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling in the dark. _Awkwardness, your name is Rizzoli and Isles. Where the hell do we go from here?_

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><p><strong>AN:** There's no 'END' at the end of this because I might write a second chapter to it. Reviews please? :)


	2. Sweat Tea Part 2

**Random Rizzles Phonecalls: The Mature Version**

The Side Effects of Peruvian Sweat Tea Part 2  
><span>

**A/N: **Sorry it took me so long to update this, I'm still pretty new at writing smut and find it quite hard to write sometimes. I hope you'll like it anyway :)

While the first part of this was written in 3rd person POV, this one will be told from both Jane and Maura's perspective. Just keep an eye out for *Jane* and *Maura*.

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><p><span>*Jane*<span>

Two weeks had passed since 'the incident', and things between Maura and me were still awkward. When there were other people present, we were fine, but when it was just the two of us, it never took long until one of us would mumble an excuse and flee the scene. Which is why it took me by surprise when I walked into Maura's office and she immediately made eye contact, rather than shying away from it like we'd done for the past two weeks. "Jane, what brings you here? I'm not done with my report yet."

"I know. Uhm..." _Why am I shifting back and forth on my feet like a kid who really needs to pee? I never do that! _"I know things have been... weird between us since... you know... but I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight? We can order pizza, maybe watch a movie, y'know, the usual stuff..."

Maura beamed up at me from her position at her desk, and as cliché as that sounded, it made my heart skip several beats. "I'd love to! What time should I be there?"

"Uhm, 8? Providing we get to leave work at a decent hour?"

"Yes, eight o'clock sounds good."

"Great! See ya tonight." I forced myself to walk out of her office, rather than happily skipping out like I really wanted to. _Can't risk losing my badass reputation._

Unfortunately, we had to take a rain check on our movie night because at 5 p.m. sharp, dispatch called to tell us about some guy who had been found hanging from a tree in his backyard. Maura declared it a suicide pretty fast, but we still didn't get home until after 10 p.m. that night, hence the rain check.

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><p>Three days later, I was standing in front of Maura's door, debating whether to ring the doorbell or use my spare key. We'd agreed to have breakfast together at some sort of French bistro a few blocks from Maura's home (her idea, not mine), but I'd been waiting for ten minutes already and there was still no sign of Dr Always-On-Time Isles. Deciding that a situation like this definitely classified as an emergency, I inserted my key into the lock and pushed the door open. "Maura?"<p>

No reply. I proceeded to check the kitchen, the living room, and the yoga room, all the while calling Maura's name, but she was nowhere to be found, and still didn't acknowledge my calls. _Now that's odd... she'd have called me if she'd gone into work earlier or something, wouldn't she? Perhaps she forgot to set her alarm and is still asleep... I'll go check her bedroom._

Decision made, I took the stairs two at a time and knocked on Maura's bedroom door. "Hey Maur, you awake? We were supposed to have breakfast together at that French bistro thingy - Maura? You alright?"

The only response was another painful-sounding moan, telling me that she was very much **not **okay. _Alright, I don't know who you are or how you got in, but in a few seconds, you'll deeply regret whatever you're doing. _I felt the adrenaline rush through my body as I reached for my gun and prepared to arrest whoever was in there causing Maura so much pain.

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><p><span>*Maura*<span>

I knew it was a useless thing to do, but I instinctively pulled the blanket up around my shoulders when Jane barged into my bedroom with her gun drawn. "Jane! What are you doing here?"

Ignoring my question, she proceeded to clear the adjacent bathroom, my closet, and any other space where someone could have hidden from view before carefully approaching the bed. "Maura, you okay? Can you tell me who did this to you?"

"Jane, there was no one there, I was all alone in the room until you barged in."

"You sure? It sounded like you really were in pain..."

"I can assure you I wasn't. Now would you please put that gun down?"

"Right. Sorry." Re-holstering the firearm, Jane carefully sat down on the edge of the bed. "Just what were you doing there, Doctor Isles? It sounded like some crazy guy was torturing you and you were crying and moaning out in pain!"

"Well, the neurons that deal with painful and lustful stimuli respectively are located in similar areas of the brain, so..."

"_Lustful stimuli?... _What do you... Eewwww!" Leaping up, Jane backed away until her back almost hit the wall, all the while wildly flailing her arms. "I did NOT want to know that, Maura!"

"You asked, though..."

"I know, but... eww!" But despite her words and disgusted facial expression, she wasn't making any move to leave. Taking this as my cue, I got up from the bed and approached her, keeping the blanket wrapped around me like a Roman toga (well, more like a stola, since togas or togae were only worn by male Romans). "Jane, I have a confession to make."

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><p><span>*Jane*<span>

_Uh-oh..._ "What kind of confession?"

"I did this on purpose. I wanted you to find me in this... 'compromising position'."

"Uhm... what? I mean, why would you... why...?" My brain couldn't seem to produce complete sentences in such close proximity to my nearly naked best friend, who had just admitted to... to what, exactly? "Maur, you wanted me to, y'know, catch you-"

"In flagrante delicto. Yes."

I blinked. "In what?"

"It's Latin for 'in blazing offense', meaning a person not only doesn't care if they're caught doing something, but deliberately put themselves in a situation where they're bound to get caught."

"Thank you, Google, but that still doesn't explain why you wanted me to walk in on you touchin' yourself."

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><p><span>*Maura*<span>

They say actions speak louder than words, and my next action definitely had an effect on Jane: Her hands came up, as if to defend herself, and the shocked expression on her face would have made me laugh if it wasn't for the seriousness of our current situation. "Maura!"

"Yes Jane?"

"You're naked!"

"I'm very much aware of that, Detective, and I suggest you take some clothes off, too, so that we're on level footing here."

"...what?"

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><p><span>*Jane*<span>

My eyes flashed from the bed, to Maura, to the crumpled blanket on the floor, back to Maura, and suddenly I knew exactly what to do... err, the lustful-whatever nerves in my brain knew what to do... never mind. Pushing myself away from the wall, I placed my phone, gun, and badge on the dresser table before approaching my best friend. "So, you want a repeat performance of our little session on the phone?"

Her hands went to play with the hem of my shirt, but I swatted them away. "Tell me first."

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Jane..." This time, her fingers went to my belt buckle, so I grabbed her wrists and pinned them against the sides of her legs. "Tell me."

"Thanks to our little phone sex session, I know what you sound like when you climax, but I want to experience it with my other senses, too. I want to feel you, inside, see what your face looks like in the throes of passion, and perhaps even taste your release, if you'll let me..."

I made a growling sound I didn't know I was capable of making before literally tackling Maura onto the bed. Giggling, she squirmed underneath me, trying to get free, but I wasn't about to give in so easily. "Uh-uh. You've had your fun, Doctor Isles, now it's my turn."

"Oh really?" With a smirk that could only be described as devilish, Maura shifted so that her left thigh was between mine and trust up, causing me to gasp. "Mmmh... Remember what I told you during our phone conversation? How I'd love to feel your arousal coat my skin as you're on top of me, straddling my thigh just like you're doing right now?"

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><p><span>*Maura*<span>

"Oh yeah, I do remember that..." I couldn't help but shudder; Jane's voice in a normal conversation was enough to make me tingle all over, but that didn't even begin to describe how much her 'sex voice' affected me. "You wanna make that fantasy a reality now?", she continued in that sexy raspy voice of hers, and the only thing I could do was nod. _God yes, and when we're done with that, I want to reenact a few of my other fantasies, too..._

"Okay then." Getting up, Jane wiggled out of her clothes as fast as she could, then resumed her previous position. "Uhm, so how do we do this?"

"Just pull your leg up a bit - yesss, just like that - and then do what comes naturally." I could already feel my extremities start to tingle, signalling my approaching climax, and tried to warn Jane about it. "Jay, I'm close..."

"Mmmh, me too-ooohhh yeahhhh..." One hand squeezing her breast, the other supporting her weight on the bed, Jane threw her head back and froze on top of me. "Maura... ohmygodfuuuck..."

I really don't like it when she uses swear words in everyday life, but right now, it was exactly what I needed - well, that and the feeling of the little extra gush of wetness on my thigh. "Ohhh mmmh... Jane, you feel so good... yesssss!"

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><p>A few blissful seconds later, Jane collapsed on top of me, breathing heavily. "Wow."<p>

"Mmh-hm, that was just a warm-up." Untangling our legs, I slid mine apart until Jane fell in between them, my sex inches away from hers. "This is what I wanted to try - tribadism."

*Jane*

"Maura, I don't think I can go again so soon." I tried to pull back, but a pair of yoga-toned legs wrapping around my waist held me in place. "Jane, do you trust me?"

"Yeah."

"Then relax." Tightening the hold of her legs, Maura pulled me closer until I could feel her wetness against mine. At first it was just... nice, really warm and soft, but when Maura started moving against me, it felt like little electric shocks going through my body. Acting on instinct alone, I started moving in counterpoint to her trusts while my left hand wandered up to cup her breast. "Uhm, sorry, is that okay?"

"Mmmh, yesss." Arching into my touch, she sped up her movements a little. "More than okay, in fact."

I smirked. "Glad to hear that."

"Jane..." Pulling me down on top of her, Maura hesitated for just a split second before pressing her lips to mine. She tasted mostly of peppermint toothpaste, but underneath there was a hint of her own personal taste, which only added to my arousal. "Maur, I love the way you taste..."

"Likewise, Detective." Our movements were becoming more and more erratic as we approached climax-

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><p><em>Rrrrrrrrtt!<em>

"Aww, Maura, c'mon! It's Sunday, I don't wanna get up yet", I complained while pulling the blanket tighter around my body. "And your stupid alarm woke me up from such a nice dream, too!"

Maura rolled over onto her side to look at me. "Really? What were you dreaming about?"

"Our first time - y'know, back during that heatwave when I drank some of Ma's aphrodisiac tea, called you in the middle of the night 'cause I couldn't sleep, and we had some of the most amazing phone sex."

"...and a little over two weeks later, you walked in on me masturbating and we had some of the most amazing 'real' sex", she added, smiling. "I fully understand why you're frustrated about being woken from a dream like that."

"_Frustrated_ is an understatement", I grumbled into my pillow.

"Welllll...", Maura drawled while pushing her blanket away and getting up. "Maybe we can release some of that frustration of yours in the shower?"

I almost landed on the floor in my haste to get out of bed. "Best idea ever, Doctor Isles."

END

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><p><strong>AN: **Positive reviews are great. So is constructive (!) criticism. Things like 'Worst smut I've ever read' will be deleted or reported.


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